Why I’m Letting My Friends Into the Mess

Ok, so I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that most of us have some area of our house, or a room or some “project” that we are just dying to get to and it just.never.happens. We are doing more work to our house – new floors are in progress, new trim in the kitchen, etc. and with all of the current mess from that monster of a project, all of the OTHER unfinished projects are, let’s just say, IN MY FACE.

I can’t stop thinking about them, and I can’t stop SEEING them. So, I shared this with my girlfriend recently and she told me that an older friend of hers told her that when their kids were young, they all used to get together once a month at a friend’s house and they would all tackle a project that needed to get done. Together. So, this had me think….Should I be letting my friends into the mess that is my home right now? Together could we get stuff done? Here are my thoughts…

I would really have to get over my opinions of the mess and that it has nothing to do with me, who I am as a Mama, wife, human, etc. The mess means NOTHING.

So, yeah, this one is hard for me. I like order and I don’t like clutter. I like fun pillows in a particular spot on my couches…and yes, I pick them up off the floor and put them back almost every day, but hey, they make me happy. But even though I like all that…

• I am also a terrible sorter of paperwork! It’s my nemesis.
• I’m sentimental and I like to keep things my kids draw and create. I don’t have a system for these sorts of things. So it sits, and it piles up.
• And add to it that I share an office with my hubs, so there’s two people’s stuff that needs to be organized.

It’s hard not to be embarrassed or ashamed by this disaster especially when I’m letting my friends into the mess. And, it’s also taking something not to let it fire up those gremlins inside my head that want to make up stories about me and my ability or lack thereof to run my household. Those gremlins get LOUD sometimes.

I would have to open myself up to help vs. being the one that always contributes and helps. 

This one…..definitely hard for me. Anyone else feel me in this category? It’s HARD. I have always been a giver and I find it easier to be on that side than the receiving side. But listen, this whole mom thing really does take a village and I’m learning more and more how to receive. I think about my daughter and I’m like, if she doesn’t see me receive with as much grace as I give, how will she also learn to do the same? And not only that, there’s just no way I can get it all done on my own, and when I try (which is often, unfortunately) I turn into crazy anxious Mom and well that’s just not fun for anyone.

There’s a book I haven’t read yet (no mistake there) that is called Things Will Get As Good As You Can Stand, and it’s all about how receiving is better than giving. Now, I don’t know if I can agree with that statement yet, but I am taking this as an opportunity to dive in and see!

I would just have to say YES and get out of my own way. And accept that I should be letting my friends into the mess.

Which, I did. My friend is coming over this week to help me sort through my mess of an office. I can’t believe I’m posting some of these pictures here but I’m here to tell you that it needs work, and hopefully by letting you into my mess, maybe you’ll have more space and grace for your own. Check out the after pictures and how the process unfolded both on the outside, and the inside. <3