Dear Elf: I Don’t Want You on my Shelf! No Elfing Way!

I have escaped the elf on the shelf tradition so far. The idea of it sounds all cute and magical but then I considered the logistics of actually implementing it. This magical elf would “arrive” at our house sometime after Thanksgiving (give or take a few days due to travel time from the North Pole.) Of course, my elf will probably experience some travel delays…delayed flight, inclement weather, etc. Ya know…no need to arrive any earlier than he has to. Then this elf does all kinds of mischievous things at night while we are sleeping. Yes…EVERY night for a month…EVERY year! That’s a huge elfing commitment!

Of course “elfing” has become my new favorite word. And finding creative ways to incorporate it throughout the day amuses me. It’s like a fun drinking game except I think I’m the only one playing. Hey…anyone want to play with me…if you want to play, just raise your hand! Okay….I’ll go first…here are some of my favorite phrases so far.

  • That’s elfing crazy!
  • Are you elfing kidding me?
  • No elfing way.
  • Stop elfing around.
  • What the elf?!
  • Who has elfing time for this?

Anyway… I think it’s inevitable that this elf will find it’s way onto my shelf eventually. So if you have already committed to playing the elf game, good ‘ole Google has endless ideas that cater to all skill levels (i.e. slackers vs. overachievers). You can see how our writers are getting their elf on by following us on Instagram. I’m pretty sure a week into the elfing gig, I’ll be joining the slackers’ group. I’m guessing my elf will get injured and require a hospital stay with bed rest. Or my elf will go on vacation. Or I might end up channeling my inner Tony Soprano, sending my elf to “swim with the fishes.”

And once this elfing adventure starts, there’s no turning back! I’m certainly not going to be responsible for elfing this up and ruining the magic of Christmas. Sooooo…my dearest elf: please please please stay off my shelf for at least another year!