What Mom REALLY Wants This Mother’s Day

What mom really wants this Mother’s Day. Hint hint, it’s not flowers!

I’m a huge fan of the adage “it is better to give than to receive”. Every kid everywhere should be making something special for their mothers on this day. It is far better for them to learn the gift of giving especially when it comes as a token of appreciation. Moms want to be recognized by their children. And while I do love a nice pasta primavera, a homemade necklace made of penne noodles doesn’t exactly cut it. Moms also want to be recognized by their husbands. And by recognized, I mean GIFTS.

Moms don’t want junk. It took me years to tell my husband that I do not need ANOTHER birthstone bracelet. I need stackable rings, good makeup, and a break! I’m not saying I’m ungrateful for these thoughtful gifts, but if you’re going to spend money, just get me what I REALLY want.

I’ve compiled the ultimate list of things that moms REALLY want this Mother’s Day.

A CLEANING SERVICE

This tops my list. Nothing sounds sexier than a good “deep cleaning”.

A recent conversation with my husband: Him, “what would you like for Mother’s Day?”

Me, “I’d like a cleaning service.”

Him, “you have me.”

Me, “swiping a wet mop over a floor full of crumbs and jamming them into the baseboards does not help me but your efforts have been observed and I appreciate you.”

A BABYSITTER FOR MOM & HER MOM FRIEND

A kid FREE beach day. A pool day. With my bestie. No husbands asking when we’ll be home because the babysitter will have it covered. I want to open a card on Mother’s Day that states, “tomorrow you and (insert friend’s name) have a babysitter for the whole day. The sitter will watch all of the kids and you can do whatever you want.”

BOTOX. FILLERS.

Mother’s Day marks another year of my babies growing up and going off to college. This dread results in wrinkles. I have a mean 11 to begin with from the notorious “mom scowl”. When I go to a parent-teacher conference, I want to be turned away because I’m far too fresh-looking to be someone’s mom. I will proudly adorn my dehydrated pasta necklace but I’d like to do that without frown lines.

BOOK ME A MASSAGE

Don’t give me a gift certificate. Book me the actual appointment. Don’t give me the headache of trying to find childcare. Drop me off at the spa and tell me you’ll pick me up in two hours.

A VASECTOMY

It’s definitely an untraditional gift. It’s also the best gift I’ve ever received. This is the gift that keeps on giving. 

*I should probably point out that this has to be something you both want. Surprising your lady with a snip when she wants more children would not be my recommendation.

Now that I’ve laid it all out, you have no excuses dads. Do work, get what mom really wants this Mother’s Day!