OK, so I’m not really sure how many moms out there can identify with my story, but I’m going to tell it anyway. I am a misfit Mom. This sounds self-deprecating… and in a way it is. I am saying that I don’t exactly fit in with any of the social circles that I have surrounding me. Ultimately, at least the way everyone else does I guess. I am an older mom and I have three kids, all in different phases of their lives. The strange thing is, that the majority of my friends are younger and are in completely different phases of their own lives. Hmmm.
After my family and I moved down to Florida my husband and I basically started over. Thereafter, we both found jobs and built a life here 15 years ago. Our kids were little, 3 and 6 years old. I started teaching elementary school after staying home with the two of them for several years, as a stay-at-home mommy. Because this was a second career for me, as a result, I started later than most (Hence, the younger friend group). Above all, I have an amazing group of core friends, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes to branching out, well, I sometimes feel like a misfit!
As God always has a plan…his plan was for our family to grow once again, and at 39 I was pregnant with number three! Without question, she was sent to us. I never doubt that, and it pains me deeply when someone refers to her in any other way (that is a subject for another blog post!) There were many emotions on the day I found out! Could I do this physically? Oh no, I have to start over again? Am I high risk? Am I too old? What about the sleeeepppp?! I began to prepare myself mentally. But I realized the day she was born, that she instantly became the light that brought our whole family together. She is pure joy and the greatest blessing.
Boom! Fast Forward!
Fast forward to today. My son is 21 and graduating college this year! My middle daughter is 18, and graduating high school! I am 50, with an 11-year-old. Ha! So where do I fit in? I guess I have been fitting in, sort of. I do notice that the moms of the much younger kiddos stick together and do things together socially. Quite honestly I would feel strange hanging out with them; without that common thread of “littles” to compare notes, share silly stories and commiserate about. I’ve done that and I can’t go around spouting all my” old lady knowledge” about child rearing! No one likes that!
So, I have a choice. I can hang out with my friends who I have created beautiful friendships with over the years, and quite frankly I adore them. Like many women, I will choose to own my years and reflect on the fact that in the end we are all getting older and I am just ahead of the curve. I must understand and accept that I might not be invited to all of the things or most recent get-together, but I can find my own place in the social circles of my world. I’m not an empty-nester (nor will I be for a very long time), but I’m not like most other moms either. I have a unique experience, so hopefully, as a misfit mom, I will find MY fit with MY people.