Why Not Strive to Just Be Your Selfie

Trout pout. Shameless. Duckface. Alonie.

What do you visualize when you see those words? Does “selfie” come to mind? Me? Well, I’m a certifiable lurker. I see you. Posting those selfies of your beautiful face. Your post-workout dewy flushed complexion. Your self deprecating caption in hopes that your observers won’t classify you as narcissistic. Or your inspirational quote to motivate others. I zoom in to see if digital lashes have been applied. Yes, I judge you. I see your exposed cleavage. Then, I judge you. I label you. Sometimes I cringe at you. I AM you.

It’s been a hot minute, but I too, post these photos. Trying to seduce my iPhone in an effort to get the right angle for that perfect selfie. I inventoried my social media account, I have posted seventeen selfies in two years alone. I am blessed with a built-in selfie stick. These incredibly lanky arms.

According to my timeline, some days I am just truly feeling myself. Apparently about every 43 days. I did the math.

On those days my mom swag is level 2000 and it needs documentation. These are the moments where good skin makes a rare appearance. When my hair doesn’t scream I am the lion, hear me roar. My kid is probably taking his first nap in weeks and the laundry is done. This is my occasional reflection of triumph and self-worth. Not to be confused with Selfitis, a daily occurrence of duck face. Who has that kind of time?

Vincent van Gogh painted over 30 “selfies”/selfportraits in only three years. THIRTY.

But he’s a highly regarded artist right. Not to be thought of as self-absorbed. Mentally ill? Maybe. I barely get 5 likes on a selfie yet someone paid $71.5 million for his self-portrait entitled “Without Beard”. In this Van Gogh self-portrait, you can tell that he was feeling pretty good about his singular ear in addition to enhancing some very chiseled features. Which is basically just the art form of photoshop from 13 decades ago. Vinny did gift this selfie to his mother. Most likely trying to convince her and probably himself, that he was healthy and happy. PS he was a patient at a mental institution at said time. Self-admitted. I can only imagine he had a few good days and wanted to bang out the evidence with oil on canvas.

Today it’s just a couple of clicks. The notorious selfie. The thirst trap. Call it what you want. In my opinion, I think it’s everything we want to emulate. In these fleeting moments of feeling worthy, we choose to share it with our friends. It’s not putting our validation in their hands. Though I have a huge love for my hype moms who build each other up, people’s opinion of you should be irrelevant. My selfie is a reminder that on a really rotten day, I have the ability to turn things around. My selfie is a souvenir from the person I aspire to be. Screw the “likes”, the approval-seeking culture, just be your selfie.


Brishen is originally from New York but has lived in Florida fourteen years which now means that she freezes when the temperature drops to 75 degrees. She's married to her best friend Kevin. They are cemented together through sarcasm and witty flirtations. Through God's grace, they are the parents to Declan (5) and Connell (2). They live with another couple, Jake who's 47, and Ellie is 36 according to The American Kennel Club. She is a stay at home mom though she is relentless in trying to escape the daily grind of laundry and bleaching EVERYTHING. She finds refuge in pilates and in helping others. She hosts an annual blessing bag party. Then with her family distributes the bags all over Tampa Bay. She is diligently trying to raise boys into men that will restore faith in humanity one kind act at a time. She thinks the key to life is not to take oneself too seriously. A sense of humor and a strong cup of coffee don't hurt either. Her suburban journey can be followed as bring.me.coffee on Instagram.


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