I’m doing the aimless scroll through my newsfeed on Facebook. I see a friend saying what a wonderful time she had with other friends. WHAT?!? Where was my invite? Am I not one of the cool moms? Am I somehow less than? Did you forget to invite me? Did she not want to invite me? Is she mad at me?
You know the usual overanalyzing of something as trivial as a Facebook post. This definitely did not spark joy in my life. So I decided to do a deep dive into the things in my life that were not bringing joy. Then, hopefully, I’d figure out a way to remove these thieves of joy. Marie Kondo would be so proud.
I think we are all ultimately guilty of it. Opening ourselves up to things that don’t bring us joy. Not fully appreciating the things that do brings us joy.
As an introvert, I DON’T want to constantly be surrounded by people. But, social media has made access into people’s lives more noticeable. So the feeling of being left out or envying someone’s seemingly perfect life because of what they depict online is easily seen.
One of my personality traits is to observe. I’m not the life of the party, but I can appreciate a good party. I’m also not one to post all of my activities on social media. I’m not a selfie person. No judgment on those that have perfected it, I think to each their own. But just because I don’t post about going out with friends on Facebook doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. I think that when I see people that do post frequently to Facebook I forget that.
I think on top of the left-out feeling of wanting to join in on people’s fun is also comparison. People look like they are having tons of fun but we only get a piece of the story.
NEWSFLASH, the always happy nothing is ever wrong people….are lying. Life isn’t always roses, they just aren’t showing it to you. They are living their “best life” online.
Instead of feeling left out, be happy for those people. Instead, take inventory of all of the wonderful things in your own life.
The truth is I value my alone time. Especially now that I’m a mom, it’s few and far between. Other people get energy from being around others all the time and that sparks joy for them. I prefer smaller intimate gatherings of my closest friends. Neither is right or wrong, it’s just a choice. But still, seeing some things online makes me somehow feel less than or not a part of the crowd. So how do I change that?
Recognize the feelings, recognize my uniqueness and realize that I need to fill my own cup. Start by removing thieves of joy.
- Stop the endless scroll
- Identify what makes me happy
- Be grateful for what I do have
- Find the joy
- Stop comparing and feeling inferior
I think that Marie Kondo’s philosophy on clothes can closely be applied to non-material things. While she helps people to declutter their homes, we can use the same ideas to declutter our minds.
While I still scroll through the social media feeds, I take it all in perspective.
People mostly paint themselves in the best light or filter as the case is with a lot of photos these days. Social media isn’t the whole story. We can see people documenting every photo of happy faces, but ultimately they have struggles just like us. Is their showing of happiness somehow at the expense of ours? NO. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we can focus on our own happiness and still be happy for others. And if you aren’t invited it’s their loss anyway. It’s all about removing thieves of joy.