The first month of the year is over. If you are anything like me, January always seems to drag on. Like it has 375 days rather than 31. As we get back into the routine after the holidays, days can get long; and it’s right in the middle of cold and flu season. I spend half my month just trying to keep everyone from getting sick or recovering from being sick. That New Year’s resolution I made a month ago seems like the distant past.
Whether you wanted to exercise more, eat better or yell at your kids less, that resolution probably had something to do with self-care.
That seems like a fantasy to some moms. Either that or a dirty word. Moms have the hardest time with self-care. We think, “How can I afford to go get my nails done when Susie wants new shoes or “What will happen to my kids or house if I spend the weekend with my sister?” These are the kind of things that run through our heads as Moms. We feel guilty and we are much more likely to give up things we need just so others can have. But here is the bottom line…
You can’t be the best mom you can be without caring for yourself! You can’t give water from a dry well!!
That “giver” of yours needs to be filled up from time to time in order for you to keep on giving. I lead a non-profit ministry in the Tampa area and we plan and design retreats for adoptive and foster moms to get away and recharge. We just had our first event this past weekend. Trust me, It is quite a feat trying to convince moms that it is ok for them to get away!! When speaking with one woman she actually told me, “Why would I want to do that?”
REALLY?? Why would you NOT??
So, whatever your New Year’s Resolution was, think about it and remember these three points.
1. You Need Alone Time.
Even if that means sitting in the car, parked in your driveway, crying and eating an entire bag of Cheetos, get some alone time! You need it! You were a person before you were a Mom. Find her!! Play the soundtracks from your teen years on your phone and sing away!! Were we not all rock stars in our teen years anyway?
2. Self Care is not Bad.
Stop feeling guilty! It like apologizing for needing to eat. We all need food to survive. Self-care is exactly the same. Mom guilt is not healthy for anyone.
3. Ask for Help.
If you need someone to come over and babysit your kids while you go on a date with your husband or get a massage, ask! There are so many more people in your world that are willing to help than you think. Being a special needs mom, finding a trusted caregiver is extra hard. I have exactly ONE person in my life that I trust and is comfortable enough with all four of my kids. I asked her just today if she would babysit one night at the end of March. So I totally get it. You can do it!! Your kids will survive and your sanity will be replenished.
And most of all remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!