“Lets Talk About Sex”: Having the Sex Talk with My Kids

If you’re reading this article for tips on how to have “the talk” with your kids, let me save you the trouble. This isn’t that article. I am not a parenting expert. I have never claimed to be, and honestly, some days I question whether or not I am mature enough to parent my children. So having the sex talk with my kids wasn’t something I thought about.

Like yesterday.

Yesterday my daughter came home from school with some… questions. One of her friends had seen something online that she wasn’t supposed to see. Her parents had a modified version of “the talk” with her. She wasn’t sure what it was. But, she used the word “sex” and my daughter had questions. Did we know what sex was? If we did… then what is it?

She’s 8. 

I’m not prepared to have this conversation with my eight-year-old. I won’t be prepared to have it two years from now. And I won’t be prepared to have it 8 years from now… I am just not prepared to have this conversation at all.

I decided to look on the internet for “age appropriate advice.” I came across an article that broke it down by age group. Perfect.

“6-8 Years Old: … ‘To make a baby, a sperm from a man and an egg from a woman joint together. You could also explain that this happens during sexual intercourse, which is when a man puts his penis inside a woman’s vagina.’”

NOPE. Nope, nope, nope – not saying that. *Pours a large glass of wine and runs away from the computer.

I decided to do what I always do when I need some mom advice and I took to my mom message boards.

And I got some advice. All-over-the-place advice.

Some moms recommended being straightforward and telling her the truth – no need to leave out the graphic details.

Others said to be as vague as possible.

Other suggested books we could read a book on the subject together or podcasts I could listen to for tips and pointers.

I was also told that if I brush this under the rug I might convey the message that my daughter can’t come to me with uncomfortable questions and situations. That’s something I definitely did not want to convey.

I need to address this. So I processed all of the information and tried to come up with a plan that would fit our family and my daughter.

I’m still working on it. But, come hell or high water, I am going to listen to her questions and do my best to answer them in a way that works for us. 

The most important thing is to do what is right for YOUR child and YOUR family. You know your child better than anyone – the last thing you want to do is have them go looking for answers somewhere else… like the internet or their friends. 

Here are a few recommendations that other moms who have “been there” suggested making this a little easier. If you have any other suggestions, please add them below. We’re all in this together!


It’s Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends

It’s So Amazing: A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families


“But Why?”

Candace is a former elementary school teacher and currently a full-time controller of chaos! A part time stay at home mom (if such a thing ever existed), she has two young children - a daughter, 7, and a son, 18 months. Candace loves writing, cooking, wine, cooking with wine, reading a good book, and spending time with her family. A Tampa native, born and raised on Davis Island, Candace currently lives in South Tampa with her husband, Matthew, and her two beautiful children.