It Takes A Village-Let’s Be That Village

My fellow moms, I need to ask you an important question. Do you believe “It Takes a Village?” If so, can we just lift each other up?

Can we rise above it all and help each other out? Can we do better for our fellow moms and actually remember that it takes a village? It only benefits our children and our society if we collectively do better.

Motherhood is hard. Motherhood in the social media era is even harder. People judge ALL your decisions.

Mom life is wonderful and hard

The working mom versus the stay at home mom. Breast versus bottle. Public school versus private school versus homeschool. Is all your food organic? 

The list of things we are mom-shamed for can go on and on. Let’s be real, many of these life choices are done by necessity not preference. Despite this, you can bet your bottom dollar that no matter your personal choice there is sanctimommy out there judging you.

On the other hand, social media is your own personal public relations. Anyone can craft their perfect image. Heck, we live in a society that actually has a career path called the “Instagram model.” Folks earn income by preening about taking selfies (Good on them for finding a way out of the 9 to 5, but who would have ever thought?).

A side effect of social media is that it creates envy as you see a seemingly perfect existence of some minor acquaintance from the past. But remember image is not always reality.

Moms-Gone-Social-Media-Wild

It was yesterday afternoon when I noticed a particularly awful thread on a mom group Facebook page. The topic was affording school supplies. One simple question escalated into war. Over 100 comments most filled with anger and venom towards each other. Nobody listening to each other. I could envision these ladies angrily banging at their keyboard to type these messages.

This wasn’t a political argument. There was no one person who was clearly in the wrong. There was no child in danger. This was just pure moms-gone-social-media-wild. There was no reason for any of it.

We can do better

The whole situation made me think of how we, as moms need to do better for each other.

When we begin to think a judgmental thought about a fellow mom, we NEED to take a deep breath and remember: we do not know their story, or their struggle.

Perhaps that mom you are about to judge is going through something major. Perhaps they were up all night with a crying baby? Maybe they are stressed about their marriage or financial troubles. Or maybe they are a single mom working two jobs. Maybe they stay at home, because they could not afford to put children in day care?

It is not even our business to know what their inner strife is. However, what is our business and our duty as moms and good people in a stressful society, is to rise up from judgment. Befriend that mom that looks lonely at the park. Do not get angry with that woman dealing with a crying child in public.

A gentle reminder

Sometimes you just need a reminder to take a moment and reflect upon.

Treat others as you wish to be treated.

Not only is it good for the soul, but it is great for our children to witness us rise up and help each other out. Let’s remember that we can all be better, for ourselves and our village.

Wendy Spiriti
Boymom, wife, daughter, friend and aspiring weather photographer, Wendy moved to Tampa 12 years ago to escape winter in the Northeast…but still see plenty of AL East baseball. It was through her love of the New York Yankees she flirted her way to a first date with the man she’d eventually marry, Mike. Along with a husband, she gained stepson Damon (now 17), who she loves like her own. And, in 2013, completed the family by welcoming the sweetest little boy in the world, Logan. In addition to being surrounded by three handsome guys, Wendy works full time in the corporate world. Somewhere between Mom life and work life she finds time to enjoy fitness, travel, reading, watching too many cooking competition shows and more HGTV than should be allowed. She’s also a self-proclaimed news junkie who loves to stay up to date on current events. A native of Queens, NY, Wendy holds a BA in Journalism from State University of New York at New Paltz.