My fellow moms, I need to ask you an important question. Do you believe “It Takes a Village?” If so, can we just lift each other up?
Can we rise above it all and help each other out? Can we do better for our fellow moms and actually remember that it takes a village? It only benefits our children and our society if we collectively do better.
Motherhood is hard. Motherhood in the social media era is even harder. People judge ALL your decisions.
Mom life is wonderful and hard
The working mom versus the stay at home mom. Breast versus bottle. Public school versus private school versus homeschool. Is all your food organic?
The list of things we are mom-shamed for can go on and on. Let’s be real, many of these life choices are done by necessity not preference. Despite this, you can bet your bottom dollar that no matter your personal choice there is sanctimommy out there judging you.
On the other hand, social media is your own personal public relations. Anyone can craft their perfect image. Heck, we live in a society that actually has a career path called the “Instagram model.” Folks earn income by preening about taking selfies (Good on them for finding a way out of the 9 to 5, but who would have ever thought?).
A side effect of social media is that it creates envy as you see a seemingly perfect existence of some minor acquaintance from the past. But remember image is not always reality.
It was yesterday afternoon when I noticed a particularly awful thread on a mom group Facebook page. The topic was affording school supplies. One simple question escalated into war. Over 100 comments most filled with anger and venom towards each other. Nobody listening to each other. I could envision these ladies angrily banging at their keyboard to type these messages.
This wasn’t a political argument. There was no one person who was clearly in the wrong. There was no child in danger. This was just pure moms-gone-social-media-wild. There was no reason for any of it.
We can do better
The whole situation made me think of how we, as moms need to do better for each other.
When we begin to think a judgmental thought about a fellow mom, we NEED to take a deep breath and remember: we do not know their story, or their struggle.
Perhaps that mom you are about to judge is going through something major. Perhaps they were up all night with a crying baby? Maybe they are stressed about their marriage or financial troubles. Or maybe they are a single mom working two jobs. Maybe they stay at home, because they could not afford to put children in day care?
It is not even our business to know what their inner strife is. However, what is our business and our duty as moms and good people in a stressful society, is to rise up from judgment. Befriend that mom that looks lonely at the park. Do not get angry with that woman dealing with a crying child in public.
A gentle reminder
Sometimes you just need a reminder to take a moment and reflect upon.
Treat others as you wish to be treated.
Not only is it good for the soul, but it is great for our children to witness us rise up and help each other out. Let’s remember that we can all be better, for ourselves and our village.