Why I’m (Considering) Not Throwing My Daughter a First Birthday Party

I’m still considering if I should write this post, do I really not want to throw her a first birthday party? In between diapers, voice experimenting screams and milking on demand, no, I don’t want to plan a birthday party for a baby that won’t remember anything. I know the party is more for the adults, but I feel like there’s better use of everyone’s time and energy than celebrating on behalf of the birthday-ee.

As I’m forced to actually write out my thoughts about not throwing her a birthday party, I feel guilty. I like throwing parties as much as the next girl, but when I dig deep down and logically think about throwing a ONE year old a birthday party I roll my eyes at myself. The pressure I put on myself to host guests and make 47 to-do lists about snacks, cocktails and favors sounds stressful. I mean, hell yes we’ll attend someone else’s first birthday party–I love cake and Sullivan loves baby play time.

There’s the argument that you throw the party for yourself, as parents. I get this, but if I’m celebrating something really for us as parents, let’s spend party money on a trip and sip champagne to celebrate surviving the first year of parenthood. To be fair, our friends wouldn’t be too surprised if we didn’t have party, but Instagrammed Sullivan turning one at the top of the Eiffel tower. We’re not the most ‘traditional’ pair; we hosted our own baby shower that consisted of an elaborate blind beer tasting for our friends so I completely understand throwing the party for yourself.

The past couple days I’ve had those moments of ‘Ugh…we should just throw a birthday party,’ but I’m exhausted with myself, thought bubbles of crafted garland, the guest list and time consuming animal shaped finger food that never seems so in depth until you’ve already started fills my drained mom-brain. No matter how simple the planning starts, this makes me shut down and stop thinking all together. I regret my consideration again. Someone recently asked me what if Sullivan asks what we did for her first birthday and wants to see photos? It’s the memories you’ll want to remember 1. I have 1.5 million photos of her entire first year of life. 2. Can you tell I document her monthly from these continuous photos throughout this post? 3. Don’t be silly, her birthday outfit is already planned. And adorable. And we know what her first present will be.

Let’s not even discuss a smash cake. Where did this come from and why does it feel so mandatory? There’s photo shoots planned around smashing of the cake for Pete’s sakes. I get it, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Maybe I’m trying to stand my ground on the ‘I’ll never dos’ I said before I had a kid. Can I make a cake out of pureed veggies? That’s one thing I know she likes and I’d rather not see this high-maintenance child high on sugar at 12 months old. That’s another thing, the theme of the party, currently this girl likes milk, pineapple cubes, cheery tomatoes and anything with a handle. I wouldn’t understand this post if I read it pre-baby, I don’t really remember how I use to think ‘back-then’ so I’m not sure if this pressure of throwing a birthday party is just the baby-world around me?

UGH… I should just throw a party… I’ll make a broccoli cupcake and you can come if you bring a bottle of champagne. The decorations will be the mess of a first year parents home and I think there’s nuts in the pantry.

Check back with me closer to April, I’ll probably be posting DIY birthday crafts for a first birthday party.