I’m still considering if I should write this post, do I really not want to throw her a first birthday party? In between diapers, voice experimenting screams and milking on demand, no, I don’t want to plan a birthday party for a baby that won’t remember anything. I know the party is more for the adults, but I feel like there’s better use of everyone’s time and energy than celebrating on behalf of the birthday-ee.
As I’m forced to actually write out my thoughts about not throwing her a birthday party, I feel guilty. I like throwing parties as much as the next girl, but when I dig deep down and logically think about throwing a ONE year old a birthday party I roll my eyes at myself. The pressure I put on myself to host guests and make 47 to-do lists about snacks, cocktails and favors sounds stressful. I mean, hell yes we’ll attend someone else’s first birthday party–I love cake and Sullivan loves baby play time.
There’s the argument that you throw the party for yourself, as parents. I get this, but if I’m celebrating something really for us as parents, let’s spend party money on a trip and sip champagne to celebrate surviving the first year of parenthood. To be fair, our friends wouldn’t be too surprised if we didn’t have party, but Instagrammed Sullivan turning one at the top of the Eiffel tower. We’re not the most ‘traditional’ pair; we hosted our own baby shower that consisted of an elaborate blind beer tasting for our friends so I completely understand throwing the party for yourself.
The past couple days I’ve had those moments of ‘Ugh…we should just throw a birthday party,’ but I’m exhausted with myself, thought bubbles of crafted garland, the guest list and time consuming animal shaped finger food that never seems so in depth until you’ve already started fills my drained mom-brain. No matter how simple the planning starts, this makes me shut down and stop thinking all together. I regret my consideration again. Someone recently asked me what if Sullivan asks what we did for her first birthday and wants to see photos? It’s the memories you’ll want to remember 1. I have 1.5 million photos of her entire first year of life. 2. Can you tell I document her monthly from these continuous photos throughout this post? 3. Don’t be silly, her birthday outfit is already planned. And adorable. And we know what her first present will be.
Let’s not even discuss a smash cake. Where did this come from and why does it feel so mandatory? There’s photo shoots planned around smashing of the cake for Pete’s sakes. I get it, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Maybe I’m trying to stand my ground on the ‘I’ll never dos’ I said before I had a kid. Can I make a cake out of pureed veggies? That’s one thing I know she likes and I’d rather not see this high-maintenance child high on sugar at 12 months old. That’s another thing, the theme of the party, currently this girl likes milk, pineapple cubes, cheery tomatoes and anything with a handle. I wouldn’t understand this post if I read it pre-baby, I don’t really remember how I use to think ‘back-then’ so I’m not sure if this pressure of throwing a birthday party is just the baby-world around me?
UGH… I should just throw a party… I’ll make a broccoli cupcake and you can come if you bring a bottle of champagne. The decorations will be the mess of a first year parents home and I think there’s nuts in the pantry.
Check back with me closer to April, I’ll probably be posting DIY birthday crafts for a first birthday party.
Current Age
Lindsay I perfectly understand this. I really wish we hadn’t thrown Evan a first birthday party. I was crafting for months and spent wayyyyyy too much money for something he hated and won’t remember. He was overwhelmed by the amount of people and just wanted to play. He wanted nothing to do with the cake or any thing else really. I love that I have the pictures and memories however if I had to go back I wouldn’t have done it. So for his second birthday I vowed not to make the same mistake and I chose something he would enjoy. So I bought us annual passes to disney and We go a couple times a month. It’s something that he loves and I wouldn’t have it any other way (When he is old enough I will let him choose if he wants a big birthday party or something fun to go do or a trip). A
Lindsay, I feel the same way. Teetering and could go either way. My son is 9 months and planning should probably start now. We also threw our own “baby shower”…beer and bbq. Haha. We also live in Seminole Heights. Maybe we’ll see you around.
There is a ton of pressure out there to do what everyone else is doing – and why?? All the people you buy stuff from to make it happen probably love it… But for us moms it IS stressful.
We have, for the last few years, taken little trips over parties and it’s made for great family memories.
The truth is (mine are 8 & almost 12) our kids spend 75% of the time with their friends (at school) & we want family time and memories now more than ever.
As a photographer too, the cake smash sugar high mess needs to become something new … Like hit the piñata or open the first gift or … Fill in the blanks! Happy almost first birthday!
We also threw a beer and bbq shower and it was co-ed (think beer-filled baby bottle chugging contest)! We decided not to do the first birthday party, but instead put the money into getting professional photos done (those bad boys ran $400!). We did decorate and have a smash cake on her birthday, but it was only grandparents and us. She wasn’t interested in the cake, and got bored opening gifts 5 gifts in, so maybe it was a good thing I didn’t shell out tons of money for a party. BUT there is always a KA 2nd birthday party!! My peanut is only 18 months, so I will see when the second birthday gets closer if I actually go through with it. Happy planning!