Climbing Out of the Hole of 2020

2020 was a dumpster fire of a year. I mean seriously, if you had told me on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day 2020 what the year would bring, I would have assumed you had too much punch and needed a ride home. I may have passed along the names of some therapists for you to call when you recovered, and checked in on you to make sure all was well. I definitely wouldn’t have thought any of it would be possible. 

It’s Too Heavy 

The first time our school posted a video of teachers holding signs saying “I miss you,” I sobbed. My kids were excited to see their teachers but from that first note, I was done for. We spoke of ‘heavy days’ where it was just too much–too much missing friends, too much missing grandparents–just too much. That was 2020: just too much. 

Wishful thinking

I was adamant that I would still work out, eat well, and live my life as much as I could without actually leaving my house. Then a heavy day hit. Followed by another. And another. I tried to potty-train my special needs son and it didn’t work. It was one more thing I was failing. I yelled at the kids a lot; I stopped working out; I let us all eat whatever we wanted. Because what does it matter anyway? The world is crazy and I was feeling like I wasn’t far behind.

Thinking about all I needed to do and to change was debilitating, honestly. I need to eat better. I need to get back to working out. I need to invest more of myself into relationships with people I can’t see. I need to…I need to stop. Climbing out of the hole of suck can be exhausting. No, scratch that–it IS exhausting. 

Slow and Steady

How am I climbing out of the hole? Slowly. Slower than a sloth. I am taking it one day at a time. I focus on one small change I can make. I am trying to drink less coffee so I can drink more water. Tomorrow I will work on eating a salad for lunch. It feels like the descent into the hole we all fell into was quick: walking along in March 2020 and all of a sudden everything just stopped. There is no normal and that can cause some serious mental health issues. I encourage you to reach out for support if you need it. Therapists are still doing virtual appointments. Friends can Facetime or Zoom a happy hour. You are not alone. Take it as slow as you need to and focus on one small change at a time. 

 

How are you climbing out of the hole of 2020? What small changes have you made? Share with me in the comments.

Brandi Eatman was raised in Ohio before moving to Florida in 1999. She has been married for ten years and has three children. On the weekends, Brandi and her family enjoy being outside and going to all the area beaches, and they are avid college football fans. Brandi is a photographer who loves to read and spend time with friends and family and enjoys her almost daily boot camps. Her guilty pleasures are crime tv shows, tacos, too much cream and sugar in her coffee, and Ohio State football.

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